DAY 15: Where I Am At In Life

DAY 15: Where I Am At In Life

Last Wednesday I decided to send in my two weeks resignation letter to leave my company. I have felt happier after doing so. The company I worked for was very unstable. They did not pay me correctly, they were changing my shifts without informing me, they were cutting my hours without informing me, they never communicated with me about what was going on with the clients, staff would constantly complain but remain in the company, they bosses were greedy with the money, they would gamble money away, they would overwork people, their was gossip and unprofessional behaviour from staff, they were putting staff and myself with very dangerous clients without backup and no matter how many emails you sent about all the problems that were going on, nothing would get done about them. It was just a drag working for the company. I was so happy to go through with my resignation letter.

Now that I am not working I do have to claim for the safety net that people in Australia are provided as job seekers. I am impatient to get out there working to help increase my income, but the experience I have had working for the company has made me realise that I need to be patient when looking for a job. The community care industry has a few companies that are unprofessional in some ways. I will be trying my best to stay away from those companies. If everything is done by the book, it is safer and it all works smoother. I want a company that remains professional and does everything by the book. The only companies I've heard does that is government. I cannot be too picky about where I work because government doesn't do intakes for workers all of the time. Mainly in January and mid-year. I also don't want to job hop. So, the main of what I will have to do is research and talk to people who work in the company. I enjoy talking to other support workers about their experiences. It is how I learn. 

it would probably only be for a year and so working in the community care industry. 

I've decided to take on a diploma in a different industry that I see really suits me. The diploma is exactly what my aligns to my degree. It is the same thing, however, if I complete the diploma then I'll be in the field a lot quicker. I've heard of organisations in this field that pay their workers good money. So, if I finish the diploma and enter into this other field... I'll be earning good money. I see the diploma and degree that aligns to what I'd be happy doing and the knowledge/information i'll be taking in as aligning to who I am as a person at the moment. It was a good choice overall. My main goal is to start my own organisation. I have had the chance through volunteering and through no want/desire of my own... to experience what it is like in various different band-aid solution organisations. In that time, I got to know how they operated, how everything was done, what people using these organisations go through/their struggles, drug addictions, stress, strain, money problems, mental health problems, lack of skills, etc. I've come to the realise that these organisations can provide opportunities to certain people to help them step up in life, but we can do so much more to assist/support. So, one thing that I will be working on is trying/attempting to create my own organisation. That the soul of it all. I guess the point of it is to give me something to do... and all these skills that I can develop along the way. That is the motive of it all. So, even if Ido not succeed I've gained from it. 

To be able to get to where I'd like to go I will have to change myself. I have not put in the strength that I know I have when it comes to changing. What prevents me is that I've consistently listened to my thoughts, emotions and feelings. I'd listent to them even if they would prevent me from doing things that would assist/support me in life. I know that they are not assisting/supporting me, but at times they're overpowering. I do realise that they're just emotions..... they're only there temporarily and I do not have to follow it. 

I've decided to give up on my addictions to social media and entertainment videos on YouTube. I am on a 30 day challenge to see if it settles me down and how my mind will be without these. I've let go of a lot. I am interested in making sure that I live out healthy habits. As I said paragraphs above, I have a unit that is very central to park and the city center. I used to complain about my unit.... until I had realised that I what I pay is very cheap for what I have. I started to look at my unit entirely different. I used to sleep in until 8:30 when not working.. I now wake up 6:30 to go for a walk in the local parks and say good morning to everybody I walk past. It is very fun to do that. I've decided to join jogging groups and start bring people with specific words that I see in them into my life. So, everything in my life is very good. It is all about changing me, applying new skills, and bringing new people into my life.

DAY 14: Face Feedback, Breathe Through Reactions, and Change

DAY 14: Face Feedback, Breathe Through Reaction, and Change

I successfully completed my practical driving test about two months ago. It has helped to have my license in the industry I work in. I work with disability and mental health clients. Before I had my license, I was using Ubers and/or public transport. The Ubers were out of my own pocket because the company I work for is not seeing/realising/understanding that clients should come first before their greedy ways. Thankfully, Ubers were always quite cheap. The problem I had with public transport is that some clients did not enjoy riding the bus or having to wait for it. Which is understandable considering their circumstances.  Now that I have a car of my own, I have greater responsibility too.

Part of the duties of a support worker is to fill out paperwork. We all do it to keep records of everything that goes on in our clients lives. The paperwork that is completed has to be taken to the office. We also have to collect money from the office for the clients. That task was left with me at the end of the week. I forgot to take the paperwork last week and made mistakes in documentation for distribution of money. I was in a rush that day.

When we have to take care of someone that is very dependent mentally and physically on support workers it can often be a process of having to multitask. Some tasks in the day will be cooking breakfast, remaining with the client while they eat, assisting with medication, keeping them entertained through conversations while they eat, assisting client with showering, putting used aids in the bin for dignity of client, assisting client to walk from room to room, assisting them to pick what they want to wear, assisting them to get dressed, whilst keeping them entertained as not to feel uncomfortable or have their mood switch into worry, or a state that sets them off into a break down, etc. Having to take them out for the day, deal with people starring and maintaining their confidence in public… there is so much that one has to be aware of when on shift with a client. It is easy to forget to read the communication book as it is not really an absolute requirement. So, I forgot to read the book that stated my documentation mistake.

It is very easy to make a mistake when having to focus on the client who is fully dependent on you for their mental and physical well-being. The problem is that we start reacting to our mistakes and that's where I am being a disservice to myself. Beating oneself up about a mistake that can be corrected is not best for all. What can be done is create a structure of what needs to be done when on shift with client. It helps remember everything without having to depend solely on memory.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel embarrassed about making an error/mistake with documentation and my colleagues having to pick me up on it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what my colleagues may think about me for forgetting to check communication book.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that staff communication is not needed as my job is to purely assist/support my client on that day

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that communication between fellow support workers is a great assistance/support because we can fill each other in with knowledge/information of various ways to work with the client, and what is happening in the household.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel annoyed about some colleagues wanting to use a book instead of face-to-face communication.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I've done wrong for not reading the communication book when Person A and B could have communicated with me face-to-face.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad about making mistakes on the paperwork.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take feedback from colleagues personally rather than constructively.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have various backchat about my mistakes that lead to emotions of discouragement, blame, annoyance and feeling not good enough.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bully myself for making a mistake on the paperwork.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear colleagues letting off emotional steam for making a mistake.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the way that my colleagues behave in emotional reactions or build-up emotional steam personally.

I forgive myself that I haven't accepted and allowed myself to see/realise/understand that I can simply focus on the words that the person is saying no matter what state they're in behaviour wise, or emotional possession wise.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take colleagues body language and voice tone personally especially if it is louder than usual, and/or possessed with emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing colleagues after making a mistake to hear what they have to say about it.